Tree

There has been turmoil in the house this last week because their beloved big tree had to be taken down. A squad of little men with hard hats and noisy instruments were up the tree, and took it away in bits. Mom has been upset and dad has been stressed, but me, I'm not bothered. My meals have been on time and my walks, and the fallen tree was a source of many excellent sticks.

Pizza

Picture this. Last nights bedtime walk with dad. Up the street we trot, I am on my lead. At the corner there is a noisy group of young people. They are eating a big pizza. Yummy!
"Would you like some pizza?" they shout.
"No thanks." Dad picks up speed, looking at his feet.
"Would your dog like some pizza?" they shout again.
"Oh yes, please!!!" I think, but dad just hurries on, pulling me along.
When we come back the kids have all gone, but guess what? In the gutter there is a delicious looking piece of pizza! I grab it, and swallow it before dad can say "NO TESS!"
Lucky me.

Dried fish

A parcel arrived this morning. Our friend in Iceland sent me lots of dried fish. There is nothing I love more. Unfortunately mom rations it, so I only get a tiny bit every day.

Life According to Tess

I do not appreciate my routine being disturbed. This morning after a wet walk I just wanted to relax wrapped in my blanket, but they were all upset, running in and out, because the big chestnut tree fell on the fence in last night's storm. I need my rest, and then I want my lunch. Then another nap, until mom says "three o'clock" and I wag my tail happily because I know that means she will bring a tray with coffee into the conservatory and there always is a biscuit for me. Then I want my afternoon walk and when I get back I want my dinner. Life should be orderly. Never mind the tree.

Rolling

This morning I found some lovely fox mess, and immediately threw myself down and spread it on my neck. My favourite perfume. Guess what? They washed me when we got home. The picture was taken after I had rolled in some nice fresh cowpat on a Sunday walk last month. I think they did not really want to take me home with them that day.

Tess Waits

When they put my rug on the kitchen floor and say "Tess waits" I know they are going out without me. I give them my sad and mournful look, and mom feels guilty and gets me treats. The truth is that it is nice being able to relax, and not having to be responsible for them all the time. They always come back, and then there will be more treats.

A Dog's Dilemma

I found a football this morning. And then I found another one. No way could I take them both home. I tried, but my mouth just isn't big enough. In the end I was not allowed to take either of them. I got put on the lead and pulled away, against my will. They say I have enough footballs, but how can a dog ever have enough balls?

A Dog to Be Proud of

We have a visitor from abroad, and there are trips in the car and long walks every day. Great. If only they had not decided that while their guest is here the dog is to behave. They do not want to be ashamed of their dog. "No treats from the table, get your head out of the fridge/dishwasher, stop begging. Sit! Give me a paw!" (Such show offs!).

Getting a treat at 5 am

I woke up, felt itcy. Scratched. Decided that a little snack would be nice. Whimper, whimper, whine. Mom always wakes up. She is a light sleeper. Actually she had trouble getting to sleep last night. I whine again. "What is it Tess? Do you need to go out?" She stumbles out of bed and down the stairs, diasarms the night alarm. I follow dutifully, and when she opens the back door, I go outside. Not for long. Not far. I do not need to do anything. When I come back in I look at her and wag expectantly. I deserve my treat, don't I? I grab it and run upstairs, and by the time mom has put the alarm back on and climbed the stairs, I have already eaten my treat, and am comfortably snuggled up in her warm bed. Clever, aren't I?

Collies

Forget Lassie. Collies are a nuisance and I cannot stand them. Every time I see one my hackles rise and I have to be hooked to my lead to avoid confrontation. There have been accidents, I have even been accused of biting a collie's ear (not true, it bit its own ear). The first collie I ever met belonged to a lady who had a habit of walking the path past our garden ever so slowly, giving me and the collie lots of time to bark and growl and snarl at one another. I got a good scent of that dog, which I will always remember, and believe me, collies all have that smell. Keep off!